Short Film Treatment
The man gets up. He walks over to the kitchen. He reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a box of cereal. He walks over to refrigerator and takes out a gallon of milk. He takes the cereal and milk to the table and puts it down. He then looks over his shoulder to check if he forgot something and notices the clock. The clock reads 10:21 flashing on and off. The man drops to the floor and then screams. He has just missed the biggest opportunity of his life. He has now lost 100 million dollars. He picks himself up and runs out the door.
A shot of his face running is shown. His face seems stressed. The next shot is shown of him running in the streets in front of a crowd of people. You now come back to him and he is rushing passed the crowd still. He stops in the middle of people looking around. He notices a bank. His face seems more relieved. He walks calmly into the building.
He walks up to the counter and says a code phrase. The teller nods his head and takes him to the back room where the vault is. The teller walks up to a keypad and punches in some numbers. A secret room appears. The two walk in. There is a man waiting for him. The screen goes dark. The man in the room’s voice comes on.
He opens his eyes and notices he is in the back of a car. He looks at the driver and back at his hands which are tied up. He struggles with his hands and rocks back and forth only to get get a butt of a gun slapped in his face. The screen goes black again.
He then wakes again. This time when he looks around he is in dessert alone and dry blood on his face. He gets up and moves his hands around. He then looks around for anything he can use. He looks at his shirt and notices it bulging. He takes off his shirt and notices he is strapped with a timer. It reads 23:54:21 and a note is attached saying “If you want to live get to the rock”. He then realizes if he wants to save himself, he must find a way to get to his house. The screen shifts to a shot of him running.
He knows where he is. He is in the Mojave dessert. It will take 3 days to walk to his house to save his life. He only has 22 hours left. He notices a slight road where a car might travel. He sees a car drive by. He throws a rock at it, hitting it and the car comes to a screeching halt. He runs and opens the door knocking the driver on the floor. He doesn’t care. He drives away with a smile on his face. He was going to save himslef.
That was a very interesting critique, It kind of reminded me of that "Inception-feeling" merely because the scenes kept changing the scenarios seemed to intensify along with the progression of the plot. The raw emotion that was set in your film was deep, and the reaction of the protagonist made the audience sympathize with their situation. You followed similar techniques and incorporated time as a symbol with the repetition of clocks and timers being used. A rush against time as some might generalize. In a bigger perspective the world can often assume that we live meaningless lives and often repeat the same old flow. However, your story is so outrageously different from what set it different locations. Not that it takes away from your film, but actually enhances by providing new scenes and a fresh new perspective on filming. I think you also had a reoccurring motive, expressing that life was meant to be lived worrying about oneself and should be taken slowly to further enjoy life itself. If i were crucial comments about your segment, I'd have to say that overall I was unhappy with the fact that I couldn't come up with any creative criticism. You did very well, and I was on the edge reading it. But question? When the time comes if ever this were to be filmed, how would you find a desert area? Cool idea, but finding one or trying to make one will be difficult
ReplyDeleteYour treatment was very interesting, but I feel like the action just came out of nowhere. He goes from eating a bowl of cereal to having a bomb strapped to him in the middle of a desert. The film would be really hard to actually pull off because of the different locations and props. I think that the story should be developed more before we try to make this into a movie.
ReplyDeleteThis treatment was fairly interesting, but I feel that the story was a bit off. If we film this, I think some viewers would get lost and it would need to be described in order for them to understand it. You probably incorporated the "race against time" theme well, but the unusual storyline probably causes difficulty in realizing it. There is probably a symbolic feel to this film too, and i appreciate that.
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ReplyDeleteI like the style that was put into the piece. The ending was very professional, and I felt it could have come from a real novel or short story. I did not like, however, the actual plot of the story. Unfortunately it requires both a bank and a dessert, both of which are A. hard to get to or B. hard to fake. This also very slightly feels like a trailer to a movie, rather then the actual movie itself. There is also a lack of a very motivating, well, motivation. I felt the current one was weak and could have been more developed. You also do not have any establishing emotion from the protagonist, which would add to his character and make the audience care about his bomb situation. On the flipside I liked the style and use usage of the time bomb, but not its placement in the plot. Also as Kim said your usage of clocks and usage of time both were a nice inclusion form Twyker's film.
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